It was 1996, I’d recently gone through a divorce with a violent, drug addicted and schizophrenic man who had me living in fear for almost 17 years. Wanting to get closer to God in the cold Canberra winter of 1998, my sister took me to her little Pentecostal church held at a local school hall, as they didn’t yet have their own building. Looking around at people with seemingly perfect lives noticing they were nicely groomed wearing dressy but casual clothing, their kids were happy and all I saw was one big happy family. Panicked within (anxiety), in my mind there was no way I’d ever fit into this scene. Within me there was a storm. At the time I was angry, sad, unhappy, lonely and just sick of life.
Feeling uneasy about being there I confided about those feelings to my my younger sister who is a strong Christian. She said to me, “Sandra, don’t think that these people here have got it all made, they’re just as dirty and dysfunctional as you are. The only difference is that they admit it and want to change. They acknowledge that God is the source of all life and that it’s God who cleanses them. You don’t get into a bath unless you’re dirty!”
Then she said something else, “God accepts you as you are so let him in and he does the changing from within.” I thought, “what? Wait a minute he accepts me then he changes me? Isn’t that a contradiction?” Reading my bible, I couldn’t help but fall in love with Jesus and his words.
I read somewhere that Jesus died for us while we were still sinners. It’s not the sin God loves, its us. He wants our hearts and Jesus also came so that we may be reconciled to God, have life and have it abundantly. So the change in me was that I was going to befriend God and learn the true meaning of life and love it? That was exactly what happened. The changes were gradual but sure.
It’s June 2017, I’m still in the bath, I’m not perfect and I’m slowly transforming into what God wants for me and I have inner peace in my life. We hurt and deal with our hurts in our own dysfunctional way that can make us really bitter, or we can be free from fears and hurts while keeping our peace. Its Jesus who wants to heal our hearts with his perfect love that casts out all fear.
If you’re worried about sin, God forgives us, no matter what we have done. What the bible calls sin, is sin, everyone in the world falls short because God is holy. Nobody is perfect and we can’t point the finger in judgement of anyone else. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son for who-so-ever believes in him shall have eternal life” John 3:16 OK it states who-so-ever. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done? That’s powerful.
If you believe that then pray this short prayer asking Jesus into your heart.
Jesus, I know you died for me and take me as I am. I’m not perfect and will never be that in this world. Thank you that you took my sins upon your body and they were crucified with you on the cross. I ask your forgiveness and for you to come into my heart and grant me your peace. Let me grow in your wisdom and in truth. Fill me with the Holy Spirit that I may have your helper so I can follow you. Amen
What can you do now?
If you prayed that prayer, find a local Christian church, be baptised, read your bible and pray regularly. Walk close to God and remember that nothing can separate you from His love. If you have done all that and are filled with Holy Spirit you have been born again as the bible requires you to do so you can enter heaven. Live in relationship with Jesus offering constant prayers for those you love and for your enemies.
Christian bloggers are invited to share your posts on my Facebook group at Christian Blog Space