Most of us have done things in the past or have had things done to us that we’d rather not think about. These recurring images and thoughts can bring about mixed emotions. Numbing the pain with addictions and substance abuse in order to forget will just make us repeat or ‘groundhog day’ until the next time the brain gives you another nudge jolting your memory.
These thoughts just don’t and won’t simply go away. They are written deep within the hard drive of your memory as being, “undealt with.” So they’ll just keep popping up until you file those thoughts in the right spot which is behind you. The only way to do that is to forgive yourself, forgive others and forgive God! Whatever method you’re using other than forgiveness won’t work and the cycle of recurring thoughts will keep going until you forgive.
You might still be angry, but if you don’t let go you will be stuck in a level of emotional immaturity and your character and actions will form around that bitter root. To get past it simply make a choice to forgive even if you don’t know how to. Let it go. Unforgiveness leads to bitterness and bitterness leads to illness.
NOW FOR A SPIRITUAL TRUTH
The bible talks about the importance of forgiveness which is releasing someone from a debt and choosing to forgive, even if you don’t know how, to forgive them and no longer hold them accountable.
Matthew 6:14 – “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
If you read the passage above you may have picked up on the fact that YOU are attached to that unforgiveness. By forgiving others you release yourself!
Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.
I’ve read that unforgiveness is like swallowing poison hoping the other person will die.
WHAT FORGIVING IS NOT
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you have to be friends with or associate with the person you’re forgiving.
Pray the following prayer if you want to forgive but don’t know how.
Lord Jesus, today I make the choice to put the offense of (name the offense) behind me and to forgive (name the offender/s) that hurt me even if I don’t know how to. I ask for your forgiveness and love to flow through me and I ask you to forgive me for the unforgiveness and release me and (names) from effects of the sin and from bitterness and resentment. Cleanse my heart and make me whole. Amen.
Now you’ve prayed, the decision you made might not match your feelings right now, but they eventually will. If those thoughts come up again, simply tell yourself that all is forgiven and move on. Don’t dwell on the past because when you entertain those thoughts they tend to move in and take over.